TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
You retire on the income.
AMERICAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
You profess surprise and hire a consultant to analyze why the cow dropped dead.
ENRON ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt-equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows! The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy White House influence, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public buys your bull.
FRENCH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
GERMAN ECONOMICS\
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat once a month and milk themselves.
BRITISH ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
They are both mad cows.
ITALIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You don't know where they are.
You break for lunch.
SWISS ECONOMICS
You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
You charge others for storing them.
JAPANESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create cute cartoon cow images called ‘Cowkimon’ and market them worldwide.
RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.
INDIA ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You worship them.
CHINESE ECONOMICS
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone reporting the actual numbers
DUBAI SYSTEM
You have two cows.
You create a website for them and advertise in all magazines and Cable TV.
You create a Cow City or Milk Town.
You sell off their milk before the cows are milked, to both legit and shady investors, who hope to resell the non-existent milk for a 100% profit in two month time.
You bring Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods to milk the cows to attract attention.
QATARI SYSTEM
You have two cows.
They've been sitting there for decades and no one realizes that cows can produce milk.
You see what Dubai is doing; you go crazy and start milking the heck out of the cows, in the shortest time possible.
Then you realize no one wanted the milk in the first place.
SAUDI SYSTEM
You have two cows.
Since milking the cow involves nipples, the Govt decides to ban all cows in public.
The only method to milk a cow is to have the cow on one side of the curtain and the guy milking the cow on the other side; or to hire females and train them to milk the cows ... the debate is still going on.
BAHRAINI SYSTEM
You have two cows.
Some high Govt official steals one, milks it, sells the milk and pockets the profit.
The Govt tells you there is just one cow and not enough milk for the people.
The people riot and scream death to the Govt and carry Iranian flags.
The Parliament, after thinking for 11 months, decide to employ ten Bahrainis to milk the remaining cow at the same time, to cut back on unemployment.
LEBANESE SYSTEM
You have two cows.
One is owned by Syria , the other by the Lebanese Govt.
Both are milked by Syrian laborers during their free time as informers.
EGYPTIAN SYSTEM
You have two cows.
Both vote for Mubarak!
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Rising Stars Team
